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Everything Is Dangerous

Mar 12th, 2010
by OH Hell.
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Everything Is Dangerous

Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License

Your kid can get salmonella from his new pet turtle,

Buckle your seat belt or through the windshield you will hurtle,

You can choke on anything not bigger than your head,

Everything is dangerous, so how come you’re not dead?

You might poke your eye out with any given toy,

You might die from allergies to peanuts, wheat, or soy,

All these deadly circumstances we cannot improve,

Everything is dangerous, so please try not to move.

Terrorists are everywhere, in every school and mall,

And it might be better if you don’t touch cheese at all.

All the other drivers are insane and they’ve got guns,

Don’t pick up hitchhikers, even if they’re dressed as nuns,

Your date has GHB, he hopes tomorrow you’ll forget him,

Everything is dangerous, so go ahead and wet ‘em.

Dihydrogen monoxide will surely spell your doom,

It might just be easier if you don’t leave the room.

Make sure that your sunscreen is at least SPF 30,

Don’t eat food in restaurants, the chef’s hands might be dirty,

Gay men want your body and they can’t control their urges,

Monks have secret messages they’re chanting in their dirges.

Magnetic waves from in your cell phone just might fry your brain,

There’s a flying spaghetti monster in your beef chow mein,

Paris Hilton might explode, I saw it on Fox News,

Everything is dangerous, including Starburst chews.

Keep yourself hydrated or you’ll pass out from the heat,

Watch out for a wormhole openin’ up beneath your feet,

Motorcyclists with tattoos just got out of the joint,

Homeless people have diseases, so don’t stare and point.

From the moment that you’re born until the day you die,

Everything might kill you, and a lot of things will try,

So you’ve got two choices, and they’re easy to compare,

Everything is dangerous, or everything’s just there.

Everything is dangerous, so suck it up, mon frere.

I just knew it… can I say “I told you so…”???

Irritation Intended

Jan 27th, 2010
by OH Hell.
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Evidently, this video irritates some people. Good.

Read Before Signing….

Dec 22nd, 2009
by OH Hell.
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My Mom taught me to always read a document before signing  it. I have pissed people off because of this.  When you sign a legal document, you are pledging your word that you will abide by the terms of it. You may not intend to sign a contract that requires you to, say, sell your first born to the Devil, but if you don’t read it…. As they say, the Devil is in the details.

Our illustrious Congress Critters and Present OB seem to have found this out the hard way. And, no, it doesn’t have to do with the Healthcare  Reform Fiasco.

Present OB  signed a bill into law Wednesday that would require passengers who carry firearms aboard AMTRAK be locked in boxes for their journey. It seems there was a **ahem** typo (or something) between the version of the bill that was passed and the bill that made it’s way to the Present’s desk.

Earlier this week, Congress sent the president a massive spending bill that funded dozens of federal departments. In the transportation section of the legislation are safety requirements for AMTRAK customers who carry firearms on board, basically bringing the rules in line with the airline industry.  The bill Congress passed, mandates that passengers with firearms declare they have weapons with them in advance and stow them in locked boxes while on the train.

The language that referred to putting the guns in locked boxes morphed into requiring the passenger as well as the gun to be placed  into locked boxes.

So, maybe, BO should read what he signs….Naah, that would be to easy.

Learning New Things

Aug 18th, 2009
by OH Hell.
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Since I am learning to shoot , all over again (I haven’t shot on a regular basis since I was a kid), I thought it might be a good idea to take classes. I have taken several from Colorado Shooting Sports and they are great! Fast paced, intense, and lots of fun to boot! By the end of each class, you come away with valuable experience, insights and a new appreciation for the freedoms we enjoy in this country.

The latest class I took was Tactical Medical. We learned basic first aid for major things that can kill you right now, and how to deal with them. The class was hands on, under stress and not only did we learn a lot, we all had fun. Everyone should have a basic course like this, and carry a basic Tactical Medical Kit. The life you save could be you own.

Oh, and one thing I learned real well – a properly applied  tourniquet, really hurts. That means your doin’ it right.

Doctors Are Dangerous

Feb 19th, 2009
by OH Hell.
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(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.)

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(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.                                                                                                                         (Yes, that’s 80 million)                                                                                                          (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is
1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

(Statistics courtesy of FBI)

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So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
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Remember, ‘Guns don’t kill people,  doctors do.’

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FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR..
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We must ban doctors  before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
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