My thoughts on government, politicians, and elections. pthpbpbpbppththbp indeed.

A fire at Los Alamos has had one significant consequence. A secret scientific document was discovered in a bunker whose security systems were mostly destroyed by the fire. This document was leaked to the public last weekend.

Actually it reveals nothing that we didn’t already suspect. But it does show that the government has known all along that besides arsenic, lead, mercury, radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely deadly and pervasive element also exists.

Investigators at a major research institution had discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery was named Governmentium (Gv) but kept top secret for 50 years. This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 deputy neutrons, 75 supervisory neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, 224 deputy assistant neutrons, and 111 team leader neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no protons or electrons, Governmentium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which deputy neutrons, supervisory neutrons, and morons exchange places.

In fact, a Governmentium sample’s mass will actually increase over time, since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably become neutrons forming new isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.”

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Just Think – this is an election year, we will reach “Critical Morass” soon, It will be preceded by “Critical Dumbass”, I’m sure.

The Supreme Court has not conclusively interpreted the Second Amendment since its ratification in 1791. The basic issue is whether the amendment protects an individual’s right to own guns or whether that right is tied to service in a state militia.

The politicians who advocate that the individual has no right to own a gun (bear arms) mights sing a different tune if they weren’t allowed to have armed bodyguards. But, they think they are special…